Hilarious Resignation Letter Fom a Distressed Guy to his Regional Manager in a Bank in Nigeria

Read a hilarious resignation letter from a distressed guy to his Regional Manager (cc'd To All Staff Of The Bank)


Dear Madam Regional Manager,

I saw your initial mail. The reminder was of no effect, and thus like you, completely useless. Obviously and quite understandably you are needy of attention, and I will oblige you for this one last time.
Expectedly after this mail, you will see no more of me in this company, and as you have silently orchestrated the exit of countless competent employees who left with animosity, I too have had just enough of you and you are the first to read of my resignation. Congratulations.

Perhaps you have not realized that you are a cancer in this organization, and I wonder why your fat self is still being kept to fester. You are the obvious plague keeping this company from achieving its greatness which it is capable of. Take a poll. I’m copying ‘Staff’ to this mail for you to confirm my assertions- Nobody likes you. You have fought everyone, from the security guards to the visiting auditors. Due to your filth, brilliant ideas are stifled, merit is downplayed, and diligence to the company is sacrificed on the stool of worshipping you.

But your problem with me is why I will not descend into your filthy butt-kissing office theatrics, rather I will diligently do my work for the betterment of the company and its shareholders. And you wouldn’t have that, would you? You have transferred me four times to different branches within this year, and sadly back here to be turtured daily by the sight of your over-pancaked butt-looking face.
(I say “you” because it is obvious your word is supreme in this company, and when you whimsically say “Management has decided”, you mean, “I have decided”. Why that is so, only you and the chairman can explain.)
You would rather have an incompetent stooge, than a hardworking and diligent employee. Well, good luck to you in finding that, finding a life, a husband, and many others things you are obviously in dire need of.
In case your frustrated self haven’t noticed, there is life beyond this company. I hope you don’t find that life, and that you end up sad, sick, miserable and lonely.

Anyways, I’m clearing my desk now, waiting to hear you scream in horror when you receive this email. By then I’d be at the car park smoking a cigarette.

Warm regards sucker!
Yours,
******

Culled from Nairaland.